Monday, December 21, 2009


what is it about some people that makes them totally loyal to their word? the kind of person that as soon as the words leave their lips, they become something more, something of truth, fact, honesty. i love that in people. it is so rare, but so incalculably valuable. of course, there are very few people like that in this world. the bulk of people say things they dont mean, or things they think they mean at the time, or things they want to mean but know that they will never truly come to pass. the reality of just how many people are not more careful about how their words relate to their actions, about how their chain of actions defines who they are as a person. i have traveled a lot, more than the average person. and while i have met an amazing number of fantastic, enthralling amazing people (more than i deserve im sure), few of those people are actually devoted to being honest to themselves and others. dont get me wrong, those people are out there, and i owe my health and happiness to a few of them. but those types of people are far to few in number than should really be the case.

when i talk about honesty and truth, it ranges all the way from going out on an appointed date to living up to the morality we all build for ourselves. if you, as a human, have set certain rules, codes, goals to live by, stay true to them. this doesnt mean that a person cant change their mind or find a different path., but when others are dependent on the scaffolding that you build to hold your life in place, if it come tumbling down, its not just you who goes down with it.

i consider myself a person that hold very true to their mission. although i wish it were, it is not for the altruistic reason that other people are depending on me, or that feel a drive to stick to my guns for the sake of others. its for much more selfish reasons. i like a challenge, i dont like to lose or look the fool. i like trials of endurance or fighting through severe restrictions. but i do like knowing that what i say can be trusted. that if i make a decision to devote myself to something, those involved know that i will do whatever it takes to get it done. part of this is because of my lifestyle. because i dont have many people very close to me, i can focus on one goal, one plan at a time. finishing my masters in hawaii; once done, that goal, those people, i dont feel as connected to (i was going to say obligated, but that seems harsh, i dont look at my relationships as "obligations"). went to japan, met great people, finished that. now working to help NK refugees. i can devote myself to it fully, because there is nothing else absorbing the limited amount of resources that every human being has. so i know it may be easier for me than some, because of the way i have chosen to live my life. but it doesnt negate that EVERY person should be held to their word, and they should WANT to be held to it, to prove themselves as forthright and honorable individuals.

i know that every person is at times deceitful, a coward, weak, scared, hurt. we all are, we all make bad or selfish decisions, we all sometimes feel like the world is out to get us or that maybe no one is watching out for us. but it should not keep us from trying with every ounce of ourselves to be the anti-hypocrite. if when people are asked what is the first thing they think of when they think of me, if it is something along the lines of sincere, or genuine, or just plain dependable, i will consider myself successful. and not just to the one person that is maybe most important to me, but to every person in my life.

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